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I a enough days. By spring of , the diminished group of 50 came to the conclusion that living in the forest was bullshit and decided to fight back. To be clear, Yoran and his brother had no idea what they were doing -- the resistance fighters sent them believing it was a suicide mission.

Imagine their surprise when Yoran returned, the munitions plant in ruins, saying, "Alrighty, that's done. I don't expect you two to understand. Operating out of a swamp, they managed to get weapons by ambushing German troops and started fighting back. Their numbers swelled to over Jews.

And, while they wouldn't get a chance to shoot Hitler at a theater, the climax of their movie would be at Stalingrad, where Yoran's band of misfits would join the Soviets in giving hell to retreating German troops, blowing up bridges and taking out railroads. Oh, and the guy is still alive, by the way. He wrote a book about the whole thing. A strangely reserved title about explosions. We weren't there, all we can say is that the pilot himself spent 55 years insisting it was true.

Which is often a problem when you're flying a machine held together by twine and good intentions. The official reason why the Allied forces didn't issue parachutes to pilots was not that they hadn't been invented yet, because they totally had , but that they feared pilots would abandon their planes as soon as they were hit rather than try to save them. Specifically, he discovered this tiny fact as he was hanging upside down in the middle of a looping maneuver and the belt snapped.

Donald fell nearly 2, feet before BAM! He landed on the top wing of his own goddamned airplane, which had continued on its loop without him. Which is not a situation they teach you how to handle in pilot school. None of us are pilots. Grahame Donald was now frantically holding on to the edge of the wing, trying to stop himself from slipping into a whirling propeller while his plane hurtled toward the ground at mph.

His first attempt to reach his joystick sent the plane into a violent spin that nearly flung him off. Finally, he was able to hook the stick with his foot and bring the plane back under control, eventually slipping back into the cockpit with a whole feet to spare. In a later interview, the pilot took the whole experience in stride: As I fell I began to hear my faithful little Camel somewhere nearby.

Suddenly I fell back onto her. The man is a knight, and we're taking his word for it. Even though we haven't even been able to replicate that stunt in the Grand Theft Auto universe. Despite the opinion of his superiors that he was "balls insane," Pilecki decided to investigate personally, by deliberately getting himself arrested by the Nazis.

The camp he wanted to infiltrate was called "Auschwitz. They needed to set up an entire second camp for his balls. For the next two and a half years, Pilecki smuggled intelligence out of the Germans' all-time most notorious death camp, stoically reporting on the horrors of Auschwitz like he was reporting the goddamn weather: I got a blow in my jaw with a heavy rod.

I spat out my two teeth. From that moment we became mere numbers -- I wore the number Here's Teddy Roosevelt riding a moose instead. After realizing that the Allies were just sitting on their hands about the whole Nazi death camp situation, Pilecki escaped the camp in But although infiltrating and escaping Auschwitz both individually qualified him as the most badass person in Europe, Pilecki went back to go another round with the Gestapo, fighting in the Warsaw Uprising, after which the Nazis threw him right back into another concentration camp.

Like many countries in Europe, Poland was so scarred and horrified by their run-in with fascism that it overcompensated after the war and went full communist. You'd think Pilecki would have earned major brownie points for the work he did fighting the Soviet Union's mortal nemesis, but the problem was that Pilecki was not a socialist sympathizer, suspecting that the only difference between Hitler and Stalin was mustache-width.

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